flustered

2/5/13, original writing date

recently I have been so flustered. flustered is the most perfect word to describe all that has been going on lately. somehow, my already extremely busy schedule got busier! and now i feel like a chicken with my head cut off. i keep going around to all of my appointments and i keep doing all the things i need to do, but it isn't all sinking in. my routine isn't becoming normal, it's all just craziness, and this week just topped it all off...

Well, there have been huge crazy storms and one day last week I was trying to find a place to park{in the snow where no one could see the lines} and I see there are 2 cars parked side by side with no one to rear of them, so I think, oh what the heck. Lets park there! So I do and sure enough, parking ticket. Oh dang I think. But it wasn't too expensive, so I brushed it off and ran along with my schedule. 

Then, Super Bowl sunday rolls around and after the exciting game I find myself flustered trying to get home because I still had some homework to do. {p.s. by this point the snow was all melted, we had actually had a few sunny/warm-ish days!} So I was going along highland highway going the typical speed limit {posted} unaware that there would be ice ahead and that I was in for a surprise. So, I come through a bridge that has a slight turn and I feel my tail start to move to the right. Being taught well I begin to turn my wheel to that end and I begin to straighten out, but I turned just slightly too far, and it is still icy, so I start to go a little to the left {just ever so slightly} but I got very scared{and the entire even happened in about 3 seconds}, so I crank it towards my back end and over compensate resulting in my car spinning backwards and hitting the car next to me in their back passenger side door with my passenger side headlight. {did that make sense} Either way, my car soon stopped and that was that. Luckily no one was injured in any way, but the other drivers car has some serious back door damage done, but nothing internal, and nothing that cant be easily fixed {with a price}. So we got everything taken care of and we were on our way, now it's just time to figure out the details.

When Monday morning rolls around I had my first class get canceled and I decided not to go to my second because it was foggy and I was still scared for the day before then when it was time to go to class I go out to my car, try to turn it on... and the battery was dead. Yay! We forgot to close the glove box and the little light in there burned out my battery. But, with a little jump I was on my way.

Then today {tuesday}, I left Missy's house at an early enough time to make it to class of time if I was driving like my typical impatient driving personality, but I have really tried {since the accident shook me up} to go the posted limit and not get irritated if annoying Utah drivers zoom past me giving me dirty looks. I am going to be safe, cause accidents SUCK {if i can sound like a 5 year old for a minute} so I drove slow on the freeway and found myself only having about 10 minutes to walk to class {when usually I have 15-20}. So I decided to park on the other side of campus that is closer to my class so I wouldn't have to walk as long and not be as late as I would have been. But when I got there, there was only faculty parking, and I didn't have time to circle around. So I took my chances and prayed I wouldn't get a ticket. But, all actions have consequences.... I got one...

So now, here I am contemplating the crazy week that I have had. I hope it calms down. I have been more careful and conscious in hopes that I can reverse this all.

BUT on the bright side.... Guess who starts her mission papers tomorrow! I have a meeting at 6:15! woot! 

well, that was a lot of words to say it was an experience. 

and I realized, thats life. That is literally 
what life is about. I used to pride myself that 
I had never gotten in an accident or gotten a 
speeding ticket, but what does that prove?  Or
 why am I proud of that? And why should I 
have pride at all? I realized that My whole 
life I have been so careful to avoid life. Avoid
 making mistakes and avoid being wrong. But
 you know what... starting now I am pretty darn
 excited to make some mistakes, not really big
 mistakes, but to mess up my life a little. I am not 
perfect, and I am not going to be, and me trying 
to is just going to make me anxious, and I have 
enough made up anxiety with all of that to add. 

thanks for listening if you did, I'll try to be more brief next time.

love,

the little sis