the new blend
How strange indeed are these changes. I feel there are so many expectations, and I don't know in which i fit. On the one hand, there is the expectation to be the same girl I was before, and on the other, there is the expectation to be that returned missionary. Yeah, I have gotten a lot of the typical, so how was your mission? My only response is, "it was life changing and amazing" But i feel like they expected something different, something else from me.
I worked everyday trying to invite others to come unto Christ, obviously increasing in knowledge and love and attributes of Christ, but I feel the Lord changed me in other ways. I learned to trust Him, to love Him, to serve Him, to trust, love and serve the Chileans, and to really give my heart. I don't think i served a perfect mission. I learned how to not be a perfectionist. Or better stated, i am learning, because I feel that may still be one of my defects. But, I learned and had such joy over there in Chile. I feel I left my heart there. And so here, I just look at what I did. I wasn't perfect. But through the atonement of Christ, I feel it was. He filled up all I lacked. Oh how I would love to continue.
I expressed this a lot when i was there in Chile, that I felt it was unfair (hah) that the Elders could serve for 2 years and the sisters only 18 months. We both learn and apply so many things in 18 months, and then as you are reaching those 18, you start to be the good form of comfortable in all you do. You know what the people need, you can help them, you understand the doctrines more deeply, you feel you are helping, rather then being helped. (or at least i felt this way) I had a few weeks, maybe 1 or 2 months of this time. It was the happiest i think I've been. And then as the Elders keep going these next 6 months, we as sisters finish our work. How i would love to keep going.
Yes, i was tired, do i actually thing my body could have? i mean, yes and no. haha. I say yes, because through Christ we can do all things, and many more than many times, I felt the exhaustion, and Christs' hand pulling me onward. So in my own strength, probably not, but with him, all things are possible.
The last thing, is trying to hold tight all that I learned. I feel one of the biggest things I learned is how to get along with, and love people, and just be easy going. To be more focused in them, then in myself. I cherish so much that my Savior pushed me to learn this, And I just want to live in love and service.
here is the smallest summary i could put together, but basically..
I worked everyday trying to invite others to come unto Christ, obviously increasing in knowledge and love and attributes of Christ, but I feel the Lord changed me in other ways. I learned to trust Him, to love Him, to serve Him, to trust, love and serve the Chileans, and to really give my heart. I don't think i served a perfect mission. I learned how to not be a perfectionist. Or better stated, i am learning, because I feel that may still be one of my defects. But, I learned and had such joy over there in Chile. I feel I left my heart there. And so here, I just look at what I did. I wasn't perfect. But through the atonement of Christ, I feel it was. He filled up all I lacked. Oh how I would love to continue.
I expressed this a lot when i was there in Chile, that I felt it was unfair (hah) that the Elders could serve for 2 years and the sisters only 18 months. We both learn and apply so many things in 18 months, and then as you are reaching those 18, you start to be the good form of comfortable in all you do. You know what the people need, you can help them, you understand the doctrines more deeply, you feel you are helping, rather then being helped. (or at least i felt this way) I had a few weeks, maybe 1 or 2 months of this time. It was the happiest i think I've been. And then as the Elders keep going these next 6 months, we as sisters finish our work. How i would love to keep going.
Yes, i was tired, do i actually thing my body could have? i mean, yes and no. haha. I say yes, because through Christ we can do all things, and many more than many times, I felt the exhaustion, and Christs' hand pulling me onward. So in my own strength, probably not, but with him, all things are possible.
The last thing, is trying to hold tight all that I learned. I feel one of the biggest things I learned is how to get along with, and love people, and just be easy going. To be more focused in them, then in myself. I cherish so much that my Savior pushed me to learn this, And I just want to live in love and service.
here is the smallest summary i could put together, but basically..
"my mission was life changing and amazing."
Mandy
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