dear mandy,

social media is crammed with a bunch of people i don't really care

about and yet i can't seem to get enough of it. i check daily, multiple times

and every time i am extremely let down because NOTHING IMPORTANT

IS HAPPENING AND I DON'T ACTUALLY CARE. (for most of it)

and yet i fall victim to the very same illness. i post about meaningless moments

just for kicks and to see if that one person will notice it. (which they never do 'cause

lets's hope they are bigger than that) but there i am, hoping the internet will give some 

sort of identity or a sign or peace, or to get a buzz from that silly red "1" {notification that is}
 which in reality it is all just about as real as reality TV. 

i realize that i need to break free of that obsession, and "they" 

know they have such a hold on me, and so many others, because...

"how else would I know what is going on in anyones' lives?"

I'll admit it, I have TOTALLY thought this.
how about a phone call mand?

I think, "you know I should delete my instagram, or maybe I'll just unfollow

everyone except my family, because I love knowing what they're up to." (which seems reasonable)

and then i NEVER call them because i basically know what's going on, 

so there is no relationship built, just a knowledge of their lives.

so now that i have done a mixture of venting and complaining, what is the solution?

tbh... I don't know.

{also: I hate acronyms-> who am I? haha}

I know how desperately I crave interaction and people in my life, and yet I never do it.

i let social media take place of it, and it is fast fleeting.

My guess is the first step is to build on real relationships.

Make more phone calls to those close to you.

Instead of just liking a photo to show someone you "liked" what they did, 

give them a real conversation. Have an actual conversation maybe about something that was once on a screen, but do it without any screen involved. No instagram scrolling as you chat, or snapping the moment. Stop being so enveloped in the lives of everyone else that nothing real ever happens in your own.

Be bold and do more then hide behind a screen.

{i am so guilty on every one of these}

Another guess is that as real relationships grow, the craving for this facade on media will be

diminished. I served a mission, and I think that because I see what is going on in the 

lives of the people I served (with) that can be enough. And that is wrong

in every way. Letters and facetimes and phone calls are what 

build relationships, not a 2 second snapshot of the bigger picture.

so this is me, dandome palo. 

{technically "giving me stick" but less literally calling myself out}

hopefully these words can be eye opening to someone, 'cause it's 

something I have heard 10000000000x100000000 times and

yet it never clicked like it did just now as I wrote it.

Let's see if the click sticks...

{hahaha no I did not plan that}

xoxo

mandy