the big year.
This has definitely been the biggest year of my life so far. 23 was good to me.
Because it was in this year that just under three weeks after i hit 23 I met this cute boy.
Well, lets rewind, shall we? Because technically that boy there is my husband...
Last year on my birthday the Madridterns got together to go see Wonder Woman had cake and ice cream, and prepped ourselves to go to ROME! The first weekend of this 23rd year was truly majestic. I have fallen completely in love with Italy and have been dreaming of returning ever since. The year continued with a final trip all around northern Spain, one of the coolest experiences ever. During this trip we visited a convent with a fountain that promised if you drank from it, you would be married within a year.
Little did I actually believe it, but I did hope.
The next week I made my way home and spent a few days at Chantelles house/apartment before going to meet a group of boys she had spent her summer with. On the evening of August first we went to go play a game called "bang" and I was less than enthusiastic going without make-up, with my hair in a bun, and wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. I walked in and scanned the scene of the boys massive and cluttered house. I was told there were 12 rowdy boys sleeping there and it showed. The game of "bang" was interesting, but I wasn't in the mood to learn a new game and played with another boy in the house and watched around to who looked interesting. One boy I knew was off limits because he had had a fling with one of my friends but I was interested to get to know him since I had heard stories of him over the summer I was in Spain.
Sure enough as the days passed by we spent more and more time with these boys. In fact, we spent everyday with these boys, and the "one boy" seemed to always be there, regardless of the group. After I had gotten his number to text him when my friend was about to crash after her all-nighter and couldn't text him herself, the individual attention began. Two weeks passed of daily chats, maybe a little harmless flirting and snuggling and that boy got around to asking me out by walking me out to my car and before I got in said,
"So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"I don't know, what am I doing tomorrow?"
"Want to go get dinner with me?"
"Sounds fun!"
*brief awkward silence as I inched toward my seat*
"You know, I'm trying to ask you out."
"Oh... yeah I caught on."
"Okay, just making sure."
...
Our first date was a disaster in the best sense of the word. He was going to pick me up, but when he was passing by I wasn't ready yet, so I told him I would meet him at his place. {one important detail was that at this point, this "one boy" didn't have a car} Once I got to the dirty boy apartment and we were about to leave, his roommate, who's car he was planning to borrow, needed his car. Jacob, looked at me with a panicked look on his face playing out every option he had left in his head until I convinced him I would drive. We went to Texas Roadhouse which was a total success! (perhaps with the exception of me opening all his doors... haha I think I am hilarious) Once we finished dinner we drove to Utah lake (in August, at night) to hit golf balls doused with glow stick juice, with a baseball bat. In theory this sounded awesome! Once we got there we were soon swarmed with bugs; the golf balls didn't glow bright enough so we couldn't hit them; and I am no good with a baseball bat. After no more than 5 minutes we were back in my car swatting out little creatures, but I wasn't ready to go home and since I was the one in the drivers seat, I took the poor kid on a tour of my childhood showing him where I grew up, we drove past all my schools etc. (let's just say creativity on dates is neither of our strong suits)
For the next few weeks, things were, to him, smooth sailing, and to meeee... well lets say I felt torn. Things with Jacob were so easy but I was curious to see what would happen with this other kid I had been talking to before Madrid and I didn't like the beard and motorcycle of Jacob. So I finally told him I needed space, or time, or whatever I thought I needed at the time, and the next day he called my bluff. He asked if we could talk and 20 minutes later we were lost in another conversation, laughing and completely off topic. After we realized we were off topic we fell silent and he slipped in a "this is so stupid, we are having so much fun right now, what's are you doing?"
He was right. We were having so much fun, and it was stupid. But... I had to be stupid apparently.
We spent two or three weeks "apart" and through some outrageous flirting and jealousy on my part, he initiated the first (maybe second...) of MANY real-chats, during which he said something calling me out that I have since turned to many times, "I think you need to trust me." And from then on, I was still terrified but I'd remember what he said, and I'd push that anxiety out and stick to what was real i.e. him and how well we fit together.
After that we spent every day together talking, watching shows, going on walks, cooking, going to the opera and any other activity that came up. On October 4th we were official but the whole relationship thing was still new. As Thanksgiving was nearing he asked if we wanted to do anything with families together, or if we didn't want to touch that subject yet - and I, being a chicken, wouldn't even have a conversation about it for a few more days. Come Thanksgiving we decided he'd drop me off at my parents. Jacob spent about a day with the rents (BTW the first place he met my dad was playing golf {hahah} Jacob doesn't golf) but by the time he needed to drive on to Arizona I was begging him to not go and to instead come with me to Thanksgiving in California. He didn't, but when my dad saw how bummed I was he mentioned he had a golf tournament in Scottsdale that very weekend and I JUMPED at the chance to see him sooner. We did the holiday apart and I anxiously waited until I went to meet his family.
Once I met them I was sold.
His brother-in-law and sister put me at ease when I first walked in so that by the time I met his Mom and later his Dad I was perfectly comfortable - or more so than on the drive down. The weekend was so fun and warm. We started our tradition of reading books (Harry Potter of course) together out loud, and had a fun picnic.
When school started again we were near inseparable when we were together - I'm sure my roommates were sick of it. One day, in fact, the first of December, we were watching a cheesy Christmas movie, and he squeezed my hand 3x. (now, he had done this many times before, but I hadn't really caught on, I more thought it was an add-on game and would squeeze back 4 times.) But this time, I remembered when I was little and my sister Jenny did the same to me, then explained that it meant I Love You (yes, in capital letters). I immediately jumped up and looked at him square in the face and kissed him 3x, then I squeezed his hand back 3x, and then his arm 3x and anything else I could think to do 3x. It was then time for me to go but I KNEW he was going to say to so I was stalling and stalling until finally he went to kiss me good night and I said, "I like you" (in my cute girlish voice), and he said, "Yeah? How much?" and at that I was very upset. I wasn't going to say it first! So I just kissed him and waited until he too said, "I like you, a lot" so I could in turn say, "Oh yeah? How much?" And finally in the sweetest most cracked, scared and tender voice I have ever heard he said, "I ii... I Love You" haha I giggled, kissed him, and then when it was my turn to say it back I found my own voice to produce the same sweet, cracked, scared and tender voice repeating his words.
A few short days later I found myself, not regretting the words we shared, but rather fearing them. Marriage? (haha because that's what I Love You means.) "No no no no. We are not going to talk about marriage." So I let him know, because open communication is the source of every good relationship, right? (hah) he took it well but later told me he had a feeling I'd flip to the polar opposite because of his previous experience with me freaking out, which turned out to be true. Just after Christmas I flew down to Arizona and spent New Years with his family and was further sold. Once we were home and talking again about goals for this next year Jacob looked at me nervously and said, "I want you to know, that you're in my plans, for the whole year." I was melting, and what I REALLY wanted to say was well yeah! We're going to get married! --But all I could muster was a solid, "Good!" So a few days later I brought it up again as we were snuggling on the couch and it was time for him to go home.
J "Okay, it's time for me to go home"
M *Whines* "No."
...silence...
M (in her head... come on! you have to make up for your lame "good" and let him know you feel the same!)
M "Well hopefully someday you don't have to go."
J *looks at M in disbelief, "well look who's changed her mind again."
...ha.. ...ha...
And after that we slowly brought up the topic of marriage again.
He, knowing me well, talked it all out before we'd take one step and he, not caring about a single detail of the planning, let me do every step: and the little Plandy in my was bursting with joy.
By February I had a big chunk of the wedding planned, we'd called the temple, told most of our family, had a venue, and had told most of our bridesmaids/groomsmen. Once I realized I had planned too much for us not even being engaged I told J, waiting until March is too far (not knowing when he planned to officially propose)
On February 14, 2018 J planned a fun valentines dinner for us to one of my favorite restaurants, the Cheesecake Factory. That morning I had felt SO SICK! I got home from school and got immediately into bed. Shortly after he showed up to my place with a red rose and a pack of Oreos. (have I mentioned yet how well he knows me?) He offered to have us stay home, but I had a feeling it was going to be a great night, so I got up and ready. I had a hunch that he might propose, but I was so sure he didn't have a ring so I didn't let myself worry about it.
The wait was eternal, so we went and shopped until we could get a buzzer. We went to my favorite store and I let myself do some real shopping, not just admiring the new line. After a long while I was still shopping and Jacob went to check on the line. When he got back he was on a mission. He was done shopping (which made NO sense because we still had over an hour to wait) and kept hurrying me along as I asked him his opinion of this, and that. I thought that maybe he just wanted to get onto another store because we had only been in the one, so I hurried. As soon, though, as we walked out of the store he said, "Lets go to the temple"
It was at this moment, after being rushed, that I was all... ohhh dear.... this is happening tonight....?!
I began to check him for signs of nervousness: Were his hands sweaty? Or maybe his pulse was rushing? Was he avoiding eye contact? Were his hands or voice shakey? And better yet, was there a bulge in his pocket somewhere?
I couldn't see any signs. So I went along with it without making myself nervous. We walked around the grounds (after a Sister asked us if we were siblings... hahaha) and I talked him through the process in the SLC temple {we go in over there and exit here etc} and we stood and just looked up at where we already had a date to be married. He then had me show him where the entrance was and as we turned around he said, "So where's the lake?"
me: the lake... the lake??? "Oh, the reflecting pool?" (which I had shown him 4 minutes before)
----- by this point he was asking for landmarks, and I could tell he was acting differently and I was sure he was going to do it and I was SO NERVOUS! -----
We walked around the "lake" and there were people around (I told him I didn't want anyone around) and so we walked back up to the fence, as close as we could get to the temple. We talked a moment more and then just stood in silence.
In my nerves, I wanted to move the night along. So after I could tell he was nervous, and probably going through the words he was going to say, I started to walk on - as if I were oblivious. He grabbed me and I turned back to look at his frozen features. They said a mixture of, "you know what I am going to do" "don't make this any harder than it already is" "holy crap this is scarier than it was in my head" and "what was I going to say again?" I gave him a look of... "what are you doing there boy?" He took a deep breath, knelt, and to be honest I have no memory of what he said... but there he was, on his knee, with a ring, and I just kissed him and ushered him up to me, put on the ring and responded yes! haha
After that we went to dinner and I was so confused about proper protocol - and since I had already had so many conversations with my mom about the wedding I just sent her a picture...
{a little insight for anyone who finds them self in the same situation as I was, DO NOT under any circumstances send your mom a picture. You call your sweet mother.}
After that the wedding planning was going as fast as I could go without getting behind in school {which was the LAST thing on my mind}
Every detail came together effortlessly, especially once Jenny and Missy took charge - they are true miracle makers.
Then, in April, I graduated! DONE WITH SCHOOL! And Missy was so sweet and made a huge sacrifice to come and surprise me (even though my dad ruined the surprise) And just a month before the wedding.
Although the big day was also part of my 23rd year, but that day deserves it's own post, and I do believe this one has been long enough.
All through out 23 I feel like I have been running - but as opposed to previous posts/years, I haven't been running away or to anything unknown or new. I've just been living life in the best way I could think and have been doing a better job of participating the the art of living.
We spent two or three weeks "apart" and through some outrageous flirting and jealousy on my part, he initiated the first (maybe second...) of MANY real-chats, during which he said something calling me out that I have since turned to many times, "I think you need to trust me." And from then on, I was still terrified but I'd remember what he said, and I'd push that anxiety out and stick to what was real i.e. him and how well we fit together.
After that we spent every day together talking, watching shows, going on walks, cooking, going to the opera and any other activity that came up. On October 4th we were official but the whole relationship thing was still new. As Thanksgiving was nearing he asked if we wanted to do anything with families together, or if we didn't want to touch that subject yet - and I, being a chicken, wouldn't even have a conversation about it for a few more days. Come Thanksgiving we decided he'd drop me off at my parents. Jacob spent about a day with the rents (BTW the first place he met my dad was playing golf {hahah} Jacob doesn't golf) but by the time he needed to drive on to Arizona I was begging him to not go and to instead come with me to Thanksgiving in California. He didn't, but when my dad saw how bummed I was he mentioned he had a golf tournament in Scottsdale that very weekend and I JUMPED at the chance to see him sooner. We did the holiday apart and I anxiously waited until I went to meet his family.
 |
| he was all shaved and for the first time I saw my cute boys bare face |
Once I met them I was sold.
His brother-in-law and sister put me at ease when I first walked in so that by the time I met his Mom and later his Dad I was perfectly comfortable - or more so than on the drive down. The weekend was so fun and warm. We started our tradition of reading books (Harry Potter of course) together out loud, and had a fun picnic.
When school started again we were near inseparable when we were together - I'm sure my roommates were sick of it. One day, in fact, the first of December, we were watching a cheesy Christmas movie, and he squeezed my hand 3x. (now, he had done this many times before, but I hadn't really caught on, I more thought it was an add-on game and would squeeze back 4 times.) But this time, I remembered when I was little and my sister Jenny did the same to me, then explained that it meant I Love You (yes, in capital letters). I immediately jumped up and looked at him square in the face and kissed him 3x, then I squeezed his hand back 3x, and then his arm 3x and anything else I could think to do 3x. It was then time for me to go but I KNEW he was going to say to so I was stalling and stalling until finally he went to kiss me good night and I said, "I like you" (in my cute girlish voice), and he said, "Yeah? How much?" and at that I was very upset. I wasn't going to say it first! So I just kissed him and waited until he too said, "I like you, a lot" so I could in turn say, "Oh yeah? How much?" And finally in the sweetest most cracked, scared and tender voice I have ever heard he said, "I ii... I Love You" haha I giggled, kissed him, and then when it was my turn to say it back I found my own voice to produce the same sweet, cracked, scared and tender voice repeating his words.
A few short days later I found myself, not regretting the words we shared, but rather fearing them. Marriage? (haha because that's what I Love You means.) "No no no no. We are not going to talk about marriage." So I let him know, because open communication is the source of every good relationship, right? (hah) he took it well but later told me he had a feeling I'd flip to the polar opposite because of his previous experience with me freaking out, which turned out to be true. Just after Christmas I flew down to Arizona and spent New Years with his family and was further sold. Once we were home and talking again about goals for this next year Jacob looked at me nervously and said, "I want you to know, that you're in my plans, for the whole year." I was melting, and what I REALLY wanted to say was well yeah! We're going to get married! --But all I could muster was a solid, "Good!" So a few days later I brought it up again as we were snuggling on the couch and it was time for him to go home.
J "Okay, it's time for me to go home"
M *Whines* "No."
...silence...
M (in her head... come on! you have to make up for your lame "good" and let him know you feel the same!)
M "Well hopefully someday you don't have to go."
J *looks at M in disbelief, "well look who's changed her mind again."
...ha.. ...ha...
And after that we slowly brought up the topic of marriage again.
He, knowing me well, talked it all out before we'd take one step and he, not caring about a single detail of the planning, let me do every step: and the little Plandy in my was bursting with joy.
By February I had a big chunk of the wedding planned, we'd called the temple, told most of our family, had a venue, and had told most of our bridesmaids/groomsmen. Once I realized I had planned too much for us not even being engaged I told J, waiting until March is too far (not knowing when he planned to officially propose)
On February 14, 2018 J planned a fun valentines dinner for us to one of my favorite restaurants, the Cheesecake Factory. That morning I had felt SO SICK! I got home from school and got immediately into bed. Shortly after he showed up to my place with a red rose and a pack of Oreos. (have I mentioned yet how well he knows me?) He offered to have us stay home, but I had a feeling it was going to be a great night, so I got up and ready. I had a hunch that he might propose, but I was so sure he didn't have a ring so I didn't let myself worry about it.
The wait was eternal, so we went and shopped until we could get a buzzer. We went to my favorite store and I let myself do some real shopping, not just admiring the new line. After a long while I was still shopping and Jacob went to check on the line. When he got back he was on a mission. He was done shopping (which made NO sense because we still had over an hour to wait) and kept hurrying me along as I asked him his opinion of this, and that. I thought that maybe he just wanted to get onto another store because we had only been in the one, so I hurried. As soon, though, as we walked out of the store he said, "Lets go to the temple"
It was at this moment, after being rushed, that I was all... ohhh dear.... this is happening tonight....?!
I began to check him for signs of nervousness: Were his hands sweaty? Or maybe his pulse was rushing? Was he avoiding eye contact? Were his hands or voice shakey? And better yet, was there a bulge in his pocket somewhere?
I couldn't see any signs. So I went along with it without making myself nervous. We walked around the grounds (after a Sister asked us if we were siblings... hahaha) and I talked him through the process in the SLC temple {we go in over there and exit here etc} and we stood and just looked up at where we already had a date to be married. He then had me show him where the entrance was and as we turned around he said, "So where's the lake?"
me: the lake... the lake??? "Oh, the reflecting pool?" (which I had shown him 4 minutes before)
----- by this point he was asking for landmarks, and I could tell he was acting differently and I was sure he was going to do it and I was SO NERVOUS! -----
We walked around the "lake" and there were people around (I told him I didn't want anyone around) and so we walked back up to the fence, as close as we could get to the temple. We talked a moment more and then just stood in silence.
In my nerves, I wanted to move the night along. So after I could tell he was nervous, and probably going through the words he was going to say, I started to walk on - as if I were oblivious. He grabbed me and I turned back to look at his frozen features. They said a mixture of, "you know what I am going to do" "don't make this any harder than it already is" "holy crap this is scarier than it was in my head" and "what was I going to say again?" I gave him a look of... "what are you doing there boy?" He took a deep breath, knelt, and to be honest I have no memory of what he said... but there he was, on his knee, with a ring, and I just kissed him and ushered him up to me, put on the ring and responded yes! haha
After that we went to dinner and I was so confused about proper protocol - and since I had already had so many conversations with my mom about the wedding I just sent her a picture...
{a little insight for anyone who finds them self in the same situation as I was, DO NOT under any circumstances send your mom a picture. You call your sweet mother.}
After that the wedding planning was going as fast as I could go without getting behind in school {which was the LAST thing on my mind}
Every detail came together effortlessly, especially once Jenny and Missy took charge - they are true miracle makers.
Then, in April, I graduated! DONE WITH SCHOOL! And Missy was so sweet and made a huge sacrifice to come and surprise me (even though my dad ruined the surprise) And just a month before the wedding.
Although the big day was also part of my 23rd year, but that day deserves it's own post, and I do believe this one has been long enough.
All through out 23 I feel like I have been running - but as opposed to previous posts/years, I haven't been running away or to anything unknown or new. I've just been living life in the best way I could think and have been doing a better job of participating the the art of living.
xoxo
manda sue {sawyer}
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