la pared

Elder Busche gave a beautiful talk many years ago, and today it came to me again 

while I was at church trying to figure out why I have felt so off lately

(while at the same time actually knowing why I felt off)

I remembered, 

"you cannot communicate with God unless 

you have first sacrificed your self oriented natural man, and

 have brought yourself into the lower levels of  meekness, 

to be acceptable for the light of Christ. Put all frustrations, 

hurt feeling and grumblings into the perspective of your 

eternal hope. Light will flow into your soul."

"Never judge anyone, when you accept this, you will be freed."

"If someone hurts you, so much that your feeling seem 

to choke you, forgive and you will be free again."

Part of forgiving others is asking for forgiveness 

yourself to the person, and to God for having judged

and having held onto the other person's error for so long.

I need to work on that.

one "curveball" although this one was anticipated, lately was the 

passing of my grandma. I didn't anticipate it affecting me 

quite as much as it has. I didn't understand how much I 

looked up to her and looked to her as an example. I always 

knew she was the reason for my love of language and 

being educated, I knew she was why I loved planning a 

good party and making food for the masses, I always knew 

she was why I loved teaching and put teachers on such a 

pedestal. But what I didn't know until she was gone is that 

I want to be just like her. In every way. 

"Bugging" my youngest granddaughter in 65 years when 

she's living upstairs at my house an 9:00 at night for which

 door she will be coming in and making sure she has a coat. 

I miss her dearly and wish I could ask her some advice now

that I have my head screwed on a little tighter and know 

what I am wanting to do in the future (which is follow in her

footsteps). 

xoxo

mandy